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Name: Titch
Position: Manager/Goalkeeper/Midfield/Striker
A top manager of the League. Some say, he is quite possibly the best ever. A versatile player when he dons the blue kit of the Kings. Pinpoint passing accuracy and a charming personality. A true gent of the game.
Name: Frag
Position: Defence
Club Captain. A vocal rock. Indeed, many people know about the 'singing bush', from the film 'The Three Amigos', but our Pete is the 'shouting mountain' of the Kings. His support through every game is an asset tht we all can rely on.
Name: Matty
Position: Defence
A cracking 'little' defender. Matty has saved the team with many a vital tackle in every game. If our Matty was a girl, we'd all be fighting for him..he goes down as often as he can.
Name: Cockles
Position: Defence/Midfield
A handsome chap. However, under this beauty lies a fearsome tackler that many a person who cares for his legs, will stay away from. Tough tackling and devoted to the sauce. Loves his shellfish. A shaven heaven.
Name: Teach
Position: Defence/Midfield
Even better looking than Cockles. He is a devoted player, that in many people's eyes, is regarded as the best player never to play for Wales.
Name: Pete
Position: Midfield
Regarded as the Peter Crouch of the Kings. A tidy little player who is also good on the ball. Often described as a 'surging winger', and quite rightly. Handsome like a true Swedish Porn star.
Name: Yo
Position: Midfield
Short name, but that is where it stops. A big heart and passionate player. A battling midfielder who can score, and bag a few goals. He loves Budweiser.
Name: Turk
Position: Midfield
The silent assassin. A battling terrier, with long legs. Not vocal, but makes himself known on the pitch. He likes beer and smokes.
Name: Mike
Position: Midfield/Striker
Another handsome player for the Kings. Many a female flock to see him running up and down the wings. A battling and skilfull player who can score goals. Thinks he's George Best, only the stunning, good looks part though.
Name: Apple
Position: Centre Forward
This man is no Granny Smith. His pace and quick reactions are an asset up front, but also has the ability to hold up the ball well.
Name: Steve Pat
Position: Forward
A highly skilfull player. Has the ability to dazzle opponents while insulting them, all at the same time, fantastic. Steve smokes and also, likes beer. He supports Everton fc and the Kings.
Name: Taylor
Position: Defence/Midfield/Forward
A devoted player, Kings through and through. A firm tackler and always on the hunt for a goal. He is an idiot most of the time.
Name: Gav Mac
Position: Midfield
An ever present player. Ruthless in training, like a cat in a hessian sack. Dedicated to the Kings. He has a blue car.
Name: Skank
Position: Defence / Midfield
The other oriental flavour to the Kings Arms. Christopher is a defiant defender who loves the wing as much as he loves the sauce. He likes fried rice. Thinks he's George Best...he's half right...another pint, Skank?
Name: Spindle
Position: Striker
An ever present player. The ultra-thin figure of a supermodel hides a passion like no other. Deadly over 2 yards.
Name: Phil 'oids'
Position: Midfield
The buff, pumped player of the Kings. His smooth muscular legs provide evidence to opposing teams that he pumps his quads thrice daily. Good on the ball.
Name: John Jones
Position: Midfield
Former past player for the Kings Arms F.C., who has now returned to the squad after parading his talent in a foreign country. Decided the style of play was not akin to his and also found the language barrier an issue. A player with vision for the game like an eagle. Likes guiness.
Name: Aaron Evanson (Azzy)
Position: Defence/Midfield
Believed by many, including himself, to be the well dressed member of the squad. Maybe so, however, once his Lee Cooper styled legs cross the white line of the pitch, an animal footballer is let loose.
Non-Players, but their unrelentless support is an asset.
Name: Golly
Position: (Striker) Club supporter and advisor.
A superb past player for the Kings. Currently acting as a fantastic motivator, advisor and model footballer for us all.
Name: Si
Position: Attacking Midfielder
A fantastic player. Dazzles us all in training with his knowledge of the game. His wavy black hair, dark eyes and cheeky grin has all spectators swooning.
Name: Toffee
Position: Linesman/Supporter
An avid supporter. With this guy, the Kings are never wrong. Also an able linesman.
