Stay Signed In
Do you want to access your site more quickly on this computer? Check this box, and your username and password will be remembered for two weeks. Click logout to turn this off.
Stay Safe
Do not check this box if you are using a public computer. You don't want anyone seeing your personal info or messing with your site.
Please note: '#' denotes - player is one of the best lookers in the team.
Missing pictures can be filled in by a photo taken by Teach only.
Nicky
Pos: GK
The young ‘un of the team. Formidable shot stopper, reactions as fast as lightning. Still on the lemonade and various other brands of pop.
Kev Coch
Pos: GK
Vetran Goalkeeper and voice like thunder. Still retains the ability to save like George Banks. Has a shiny red haircut like an army boy.
John Jones (Captain) #
Pos: D/M RC
A sturdy player with a big voice. A self proclaimed looker, who is definitely in the top 3 best lookers in the squad. John is as comfortable in the back four as he is anywhere on the pitch. A player who likes the odd trick or two.
Cookie
Pos: D R
A new arrival to the squad. Cookie is a player with vast experience who doesn’t crumble under pressure. He may seem all hard on the outside, but he has a soft centre. He drives a red Golf and sits next to Cockles in the changing room.
Jay Titch #
Pos: D RC
One of the Titch boys. Jay is quite photographic, he has a lovely picture, as you may have noticed. There may be a career as a model as well as an accomplished defender for him.
Matty #
Pos: D C
Solid player at the back. His ability to read the game is unparalleled, as are the length of his fingers. A quiet lad who also enjoys an army hair-cut. Sir, yes Sir.
Mark Titch
Pos: D C
The senior of the Titch boys, but not the most mature. Another solid defender who gives his all when he doesn’t have a belly ache. He has an awesome pair of glasses. Sadly currently hung his boots up. Possibly scared of having the ball hit him in the face and losing those dashing good looks.
Azzy
Pos: D C
The guy with the Chester-boy haircut and tan. Legend has it, he may be one of the poorer poker players. Everyone wants to be on Azzy's team in training. If you're against him, you're likely to break something against this powerhouse. Azzy will be the man who keeps 'Old Spice' in business in 10yrs time. You get the picture.
Teach #
Pos: D/M L
The team’s most talented and best looking player. A fast and deadly, constant shadow to any player at the back. Likes moustache’s.
Skank
Pos: D/M L
One of our far eastern boys. An accomplished defender and capable midfielder. Skank loves to taunt the opposing team with his ability to drink. Loves his kebabs.
Taylor #
Pos: D/M R
An excellent squad player. Taylor has the ability to fill in to a high standard when needed. Quite possibly the squads loudest player off the pitch, his voice can be heard from miles away.
Yo
Pos: M C
An elder statesman, as it were. Yo is a solid midfield player who has not featured much this season due to other commitments (like a tattoo) and injury. He’s back now though. Always turns up with differing amounts of facial hair, including side burns and head hair. Its like a lottery when we see him as to what degree his hair is cut. He sometimes, if we’re lucky, has a tantrum on the pitch like a baby with no sweets.
Cockles #
Pos: D/M R
Good old cockles. Another of the far eastern contingent. Likes to pull his sleeves up when playing and is able to give a sturdy, solid performance. Cockles provides a wealth of entertainment during training sessions with his shooting. One of the squads better lookers.
Pete Parry
Pos: D/AM RC
A versatile player who is more comfortable on the wing. Performs consistently well. One of the kings’ more quiet players, but legend has it, if pushed, he pipes up like a meerkat on the plains of Africa.
Turk #
Pos: M C
Turks is another of the Kings’ long legged players. He loves the drag-back, if he’s not careful it might be incorporated as part of his name soon. Turk loves the sauce just as much as the rest of us, if not more. I don’t hear him shout as much as I would like, he has a lovely voice.
Jody McEachean
Pos: M C
Another new signing. This guy is a bit of ‘alright’, as some players put it. A handsome chap who clearly knows how to play football. His encouragement is beautiful and has a hat-full of grace on the ball. Also likes to play with a large hose or two.
Frag #
Pos: D/M C
The ‘Shouting Mountain’ still features in the Kings side. Has many other commitments along with injuries so has not featured as heavily as last season. Frag likes wearing sunglasses.
Mikey
Pos: AM RL
Surging winger and attacker. His silky skills dazzle the opposing team players. Mikey is another of the squad’s better lookers. I love it when he shouts.
Shaun
Pos: AM LC
Roving and skillfull attacker. Recently signed and willing to flaunt those twinkling toes on the turf. An eye for goal and cheeky grin sum this player up in a few words. Also likes the sauce like all Kings Arms players.
Steve Pat
Pos: AM/F RLC
Steve is the Kings’ flair player. He constantly taunts opposing players with his dazzling skills and frequently laughs in their face when he passes them. Brilliant. A provider of entertainment throughout, the Paul Daniels of the squad. Sadly, Steven has decided to hang his boots up while he concentrates on socializing. He may return.
Rodz
Pos: AM RC
Another new acquisition to the Kings Arms. Rodders is a powerful player who loves his skills and has an eye for goal. A true gent, Rodz would never hurt a fly.
Golly #
Pos: S C
The Debbie Magee to Steve Pat. Golly is poised, delicate, blonde and beautiful. He has the ability to caress a football like no other in the team. Stroking it into the goal, sliding it past the keeper, drilling it through defenders, curling it round a post, hammering it into the net, driving it past the goalie, surging and dribbling through defence. Golly is definitely one of the squad’s most sexual players. He is also the team’s coach.
Willy
Pos: AM/S RC
The blonde bombshell. Willy’s ability to find the net is uncanny. Under any circumstance he has the ability to sniff the goal, like a dog sniffing a lamp post. Acute shooting and power are his attributes.
Wilding #
Pos: M R
Wilding has not featured much this season. However, when he does, it is truly a sight to behold. Dedicated, he will launch into tackles like a Gannet diving for Herring.
O’s (pronounced Owe’s)
Pos: G/D/M/S RLC (everywhere)
'Squire', as he likes to be called - A mysterious player who turns up to training smelling of ‘country’. His erratic style of play confuses everyone, including himself. You may laugh, but, when ‘winning goal’ is bellowed, you always secretly wish you’re on his team as he is normally the one to hammer it into the onion bag. A baby legend is O.
Former players and friends of the family
Titch
Pos: GK/AM RLC
Kings Arms former Manager. Titch has not lost any of his skill and balance. Small feet enable his change of direction to be instant and deadly. Pinpoint passing and power to boot. This guy is an armour plated pocket rocket.
Si Davies
Pos: N/A
A former player, who now struts his stuff for HH Hotspurs. Occasionally turns up for a kick around in training sessions. Where he shows us how to dribble.
